Chapter 6: Testing Dad

It was the morning of Thanksgiving on a nice Denver day. I was slumped on the couch with my favorite CD on repeat. Soon a friend would arrive to take me to the "orphan" dinner. I called my Dad in San Diego. He asked what was new? Did it snow? How much? I knew he was grasping at questions to ask me and I let his struggle float through the phone lines. When he asked again I considered lying to him like he has lied to my brother and I.

“Well, I had a finger amputated because I got it caught in the ski lift.”

I knew that saying I got a finger caught in a ski lift made no sense, but that was where the sentence went when it came out of my mouth. I wanted to test him, to see what he would do in a real emergency. How would he react? At first I don’t think he heard me and when he asked again I said:

“Well, now I have four fingers instead of five.”

“Which hand?” he asked.

“My left.” This sounded less tragic and might justify why I could sound so calm.

“Which finger?”

“My ring finger?”

“Which one is that?”

“The fourth one.”

“Fourth from the thumb or from the other side?”

“From the thumb.”

“Where did they amputate?”

“They took the whole finger”

I said this while realizing it made little sense for my fourth finger to get caught in a ski lift while the rest of my hand remained fine. I knew my father didn’t know what to say so he continued to ask me technical questions.

“Did they rush you to the hospital right away?”

“Yeah, of course they did.”

I think the reason I came up with this story is that I had cut my finger and needed a tetanus shot, but I didn’t want to tell him because he wouldn’t say anything that meant anything to me. I’ve had two minor concussions which I had also not informed him of. Underneath, I know I was testing to see if I should bother to list him as my emergency contact.  You don’t need a tetanus shot if you have had one in the past ten years. I know I haven’t had one in the past six years and doubtfully the past ten, but it was one of the nails that shuts the coffin when I realized I could not just call my father and get this information. He had no idea nor did he care to have an idea if I had gotten this shot. I told him of my imaginary tragedy to see how he would react.

I considered hanging up and leaving him wondering if I had really received a finger amputation. I wondered if he might call my local relative to ask if they had heard such a thing. I thought it was probably best not to spread rumors so I admitted the truth.

“Not really.  I was just making it up.”

Then somehow, we both laughed a laugh together that I cannot remember ever laughing together. Again I was disappointed he didn’t know enough to realize I was lying. He didn’t catch the irony.

God- I can see how you have redeemed us. I want to redeem the important things in life. I want to redeem my prayer life, my dependence on you, the gifts and influence I can give my friends.